As a Mum who was a single parent from the very beginning, I’m often asked about the pros and cons of having a baby by yourself. In this age of independent women having careers and travelling, whilst the biological clock keeps on ticking, it’s a decision more and more single, thirty something, women are faced with. If you are single, want to have a child, and are running out of time, then deciding to go ahead on your own can be the only option. There is no right or wrong answer here, no foolproof decision making tool, but here are some important questions to work through to make the best choice for you.
Paralysis by Analysis
March 30th, 2010
Feeling stuck and frustrated? These two feelings often go together and are often inextricably linked. Generally you feel frustrated because you are stuck, and there is a simple explanation for being stuck – it is because you’re not moving! It’s easy to blame other people, our environment, and circumstance but actually, the source is usually us. The good news is that means we can do something about it.
Stuck in Procrastination
March 23rd, 2010
Procrastination is defined as “deferring action”. It’s easy to rationalise why we put things off that we don’t want to do – maybe we’re scared of the consequences, maybe we don’t know ‘how’ to go about it, maybe we simply ‘don’t want to’. Sometimes there are even unintended benefits to this procrastination – all sorts of things get done, that wouldn’t otherwise be contemplated – drawers get cleaned out, letters get written, chocolate cakes get baked…. and eventually when the pressure of a looming deadline gets intense enough, and/or the threat of consequences if you don’t do it, get bad enough, the procrastination evaporates and you simply have to take the action required.
But why do we put off doing the things that we DO want to do?
Your Heart is a Powerhouse
March 22nd, 2010
When you live your life from your heart, you tap into a huge source of energy – energy that replenishes you, recharges you, and makes the work required to action tasks seem effortless. In contrast, when you are living your life from your head, there is nothing to replenish you, and your energy is quickly drained, leaving you mentally fatigued, exhausted and often with a nasty headache!
Allow Yourself to Receive
March 21st, 2010
Being fiercely independent is limited and selfish. A controversial statement perhaps, but as Helen Keller famously said, “Alone we can achieve so little, but together we can achieve so much.” Even Einstein, known more for his mathematical genius than his philosophies on life, deduced that “when two people put their heads together, it is like a third person has entered the room”.
4 Quick Questions for the Best Decision Every Time
March 17th, 2010
Are you having trouble making an important decision? Maybe you’ve tried weighing up the pros and cons, but still can’t decide?
Here’s a strategy that I find very helpful for tough choices. It’s a simple process involving four questions. They are known as the Cartesian Questions and were developed by a famous metaphysician called Rene Descartes. You’ll need some paper to keep track of your answers. Read More
You Can’t Stockpile Opportunities
March 3rd, 2010
Ideas and opportunities can come any time, any place. Often they just start as a thought that pops into your head. They can arrive completely randomly, or be triggered by something you see, or hear. I like to think ideas come from a greater source, something we can’t fully understand, but that is more powerful than just little old us. As such, an idea is a gift and it should make you do something, take some kind of action – but how often do we get great ideas and not do anything with them?
Denying Your Emotions Can Make You Sick
February 24th, 2010
It’s all very well to think positive and to choose to be happy, but what if you don’t actually feel happy and positive? What if actually you really feel scared, angry, sad, disappointed, hurt?
It has become common to view these so called negative feelings as bad. It’s not socially acceptable to spend too much time being angry or bitter, or moping around being miserable. In response to that we tend to then deny these feelings when they arise, but the problem is, by denying them they don’t go away, they just get buried beneath the surface. And that, I believe, is dangerous and unhealthy. Beneath the surface they fester, and eventually explode in some way – either emotionally, or physically.
Everything is Always Alright in the End
February 10th, 2010
One of my favourite quotes is from the Dalai Lama, “Everything is always alright in the end. If it is not alright, then it is not the end.”
No matter how bad things seem, it is never forever, it always gets better. Sometimes you just have to trust the process, and focus on your intended outcome, and remember that the rough patch will pass.
Is Your Fabulous Lifestyle Getting in the Way of Your Fantastic Life?
January 20th, 2010
There is actually a big difference between having a great lifestyle and a great life – but the two can easily become confused.
“Lifestyle” refers to things we buy to decorate our lives. Through our lifestyle choices we can buy an identity through brands. We can define how other people perceive us, so it can be a way of gaining acceptance and approval from them. A common term for this is “keeping up with the Joneses”. We want to control what people think of us and it can be tempting to do this through making sure we have the right “things” in order to be regarded in a certain way.
Your “life” on the other hand, is what you lead when you know what is important to you and you let that control your behaviour. Your life is made up of your choices and actions. Through our “life” we can create our own self esteem and pride through being true to our selves.
