These businesses are largely service type businesses such as media publications, business coaches / consultants, graphic designers, copywriters, web designers/ developers, etc.  At a time when businesses need to innovate, learn and grow, develop and try new strategies, promote themselves, advertise their goods and services, they are instead hunkering down because they can’t afford to spend in these areas.  Not only does this mean that businesses aren’t moving with the times, it also means that other small businesses that in turn are reliant on these businesses as clients, also slow down, and so on it goes.

A simple idea could be for government to introduce some kind of small business incentive / subsidy /grant that allows small businesses to spend on training and development  and /or marketing and promotion to drive their businesses forward, as long as they spend this money with other NZ businesses. 

I know it’s very trendy to look at bigger business and the ability to export out of New Zealand, but at the heart of New Zealand lies a helluva lot of talented individuals who are self employed or running small businesses.  That equates to a big waste of skills & experience when their businesses go under and they can’t find jobs, and a huge loss if they decide to go overseas because they can’t earn a living here.

I’m not a politician, or particularly a strategist, so I’m certainly not suggesting this would solve all the ills of the economy.  But, I do think this simple initiative could turn around a downward spiral that I am seeing every day.  Let’s get our talent moving forward again, in a positive way, that will benefit us all.

© Jacqui Thomas, 2010, All rights reserved.

The event we were watching was the Final of the Women’s Moguls.  A tough event, but very cool to watch.  As we approach the final, the Canadian woman is assured of a medal as long as she doesn’t make any major mistakes.  Her home crowd roared their support and then, halfway through the course, the unthinkable happened, she lost control and took a major tumble!  Skis are flying off in all directions, she’s obviously in pain, plus she has the knowledge that all those years of hard work, and her hopes of a medal, have now come crashing down.  The medal was so close, and now she is out of contention.

But, to her credit, she picks herself up and finds her skis.  She takes a moment, and focuses on the finish line.  She takes a deep breath and she carries on, completing the jumps and the rest of the gruelling course.  There were more tears and a standing ovation in our house!  What a fantastic illustration of courage, guts, focus, determination and tenacity.

We may not be Olympic skiers but we can all learn from this.  How often do we stop at the first obstacle?  How often do we quit before we reach the finish line?  They say that if you shoot for the moon, even if you fail you may still land on a star.  She didn’t get the medal, but she is still a star in my book!

Written by Jacqui Thomas

All rights reserved

Here’s 5 Steps to Getting More Love in Your Life:

 1.  Firstly, do you actually want a relationship?  Be honest here.  And, if so have you made some room for it.  Many single women are so extremely busy and stressed out that they simply don’t have the space, time or energy in their lives to meet anyone, let alone start a relationship.  If you really want it, you need to factor it into your plan and create some time and space for love.

 2.  Secondly, know what you’re looking for, both in a partner, and in a relationship.  Write yourself a list of all the attributes that are important to you.  I’m not talking about surface things like eye colour, I mean personal qualities and interests that will be important for your compatibility.  These could be things like political or religious beliefs, personality traits, values, goals in life, and could include things like drinking and smoking, whether they want or already have children, etc.  Then go through the list again and highlight the “not-negotiables”.  You will end up with a list of “not-negotiables”, plus a secondary list of” nice to haves” but that aren’t deal-breakers.  Now you have a checklist and can avoid wasting lots of time and energy on people that are obviously wrong for you.

 3.  Get to know yourself.  What are your strengths and attributes?  Are you a good match for your ideal partner?  Are there things about yourself that need some work?  Have you dealt with any baggage from past relationships?  To have a great relationship you need to be complete within yourself.  You are looking for someone to share yourself with, not someone who can compensate for your gaps.

 4.  Next, are you getting out there and meeting people?  It is a fact that gorgeous potential partners do NOT go randomly knocking on doors looking for lonely women sitting at home watching TV.  You have to get involved, be social, get out there and have some fun.  Let trusted friends and colleagues know that you’d like to meet some people and tell them what you’re looking for.  Get active and do the things you love to do – it could be that your ideal match loves doing that too.  These days there are also many professional agencies set up to introduce single people.  Reputable internet sites provide a safe forum for people to meet, or try speed dating or singles dinner parties. 

 5.  Lastly, don’t try too hard.  You never know when you’re going to meet that wonderful person that absolutely rocks your world, – it’s likely to happen when you least expect it, so relax and enjoy yourself!

Written by Jacqui Thomas

All rights reserved

 If you’re already in a relationship: 

 Think about what it is that’s missing from your relationship – is it the fun, the intimacy, the romance, the communication, the closeness, the passion, the involvement?  If you can pinpoint what it is you want more of, it’s much easier to rectify.  Are you making time for each other?  Are you having fun together?  Do you make sure you have special time just for the two of you?  Do you talk to each other?  Are you involved in each other’s lives? 

 If not, is it because you just haven’t made it a priority and allocated the time, or actually because you don’t want to.  Having a great relationship does require a bit of effort and you have to make sure you allow it the time it deserves. 

 If you want it to work, make the time to have some fun, do something special, talk to each other.  If the “want to” isn’t there, do you really want to be with this person?  Do you still like this person?  People can grow apart and may come to a point where they just don’t want the same things anymore. 

 Not all good relationships last forever.  People change and this is no-one’s fault.  If your relationship has past it’s used by date then maybe it’s time to gently end it so you can both move on and find the love you deserve somewhere else.

 See my other article for 5 Steps to Find Love if You’re Single.

By Jacqui Thomas

All rights reserved

So if having a sense of faith or belief in a higher power, or belonging to a church group, gives individuals strength, support, or a sense of community, then for the most part I would agree that that’s a positive thing. But I am gobsmacked to read the headlines in today’s New Zealand Herald of Destiny Church having some 700 “spiritual sons” swearing an oath of loyalty to the self appointed Bishop Brian Tamaki. On reading this further I am amazed at the blatant brainwashing that is going on within this organisation. Approximately 700 male members of the church (I’m not sure what happens to the women?) swore a “covenant oath” of loyalty and obedience to Mr Tamaki. This oath is described by the church as a commitment that is binding and unbreakable. A lengthy document of protocols and requirements states things such as they must never openly disagree with Mr Tamaki, they must endorse whatever Mr Tamaki endorses and fully support whatever he promotes. They should always look happy and smile, they must never tolerate anyone speaking critically of Mr Tamaki, they should surprise him and his wife with gifts… and the list goes on.

Does anyone else find this just plain scary? I can’t help but see alarming similarities between this and the edge-of-your-seat NZ drama currently screening on TV2 – The Cult.

Gosh, is this even legal? What is going on in our communities, that has people feeling so helpless or alone that this sort of “belonging” feels like a good option? If a set of beliefs resonates with you, and you chose to live your life aligned with those beliefs, then fair enough. If a person earns your respect and loyalty, then by all means reward them with it. But if a person or organisation is demanding such things, forcing a lifelong commitment with no way out, and denying your freedom of speech and thought, then personally I’d be running for the hills and I’d suggest any other sane person do the same.