How often do you say “yes” when you really mean “no”? Do you run yourself ragged trying to get things done that you agreed to but didn’t want to do in the first place? Do you wonder why you have no time and energy left for the things that are important to you? Do you worry about letting other people down? Do you wonder why on earth you said “yes” in the first place?
Stop! Enough of trying to be super-human, enough of not wanting to disappoint others, enough of putting everybody else before yourself. It is time to start saying no more often. I guarantee not only will you reap the rewards, but those closest to you will benefit as well.
Here are a few places to start:
* Start putting your own needs first and although there may be some initial backlash, I guarantee the positive results will be worth it. “But I feel so selfish!” I hear you say. Think of it this way, there is a very good reason why the airline safety messages say “please fix your own oxygen mask first before attempting to help others” – it’s because you are no help to others if you haven’t already taken care of your own needs first! So say “no”. It’s not in anyone’s best interests for you to agree to help others if you haven’t already looked after yourself.
* Eliminate the “shoulds” in your life. Don’t say “yes” to anything you don’t want to do, even if you feel you “should” do it. Trying to do the “shoulds” in your life is a major waste of time and energy.
* Focus on your priorities and what is really important to you. You always have choices, but you don’t physically have enough time, space and energy to say yes to everything. Say no to low priorities so you can say “yes” to things that really matter to you.
Tips on How to Say No
* The word “no” should start the sentence
* Speak clearly and confidently
* Say what you mean
* Be decisive
* Be polite but firm
* Keep your tone neutral, not emotional
* If you want to, you can explain why
* If you want to, you can offer an alternative
* If it’s appropriate, thank them for the offer
* Don’t feel guilty!
By Jacqui Thomas
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