Are you one of those people that says yes to everything, tries to please everyone and runs around like a headless chicken trying to be in six places at once? Chances are you are also late for everything and annoy more people than you manage to please, no matter how hard you try to keep everyone happy. Maybe it’s time to try a new approach. Warning- it may go completely against your natural instincts at first, but you, and everyone else, will soon see the benefits.
Many people say yes to things when they really mean no, simply because they don’t want to let the other person down. Hello! The very same person gets a much bigger let down in the long run when you can’t deliver what you said you would. Most people would much prefer to have a no upfront, so they can make alternative arrangements, than be let down at the last minute. Not only that, imagine how much easier your life would be if you weren’t racing around trying to keep everyone else happy and stressing out about letting people down?
Right now, decide to stop making promises you can’t keep, even better stop making promises at all. Stop agreeing to things you can’t do, won’t do, don’t want to do, or aren’t even realistically capable of doing. Your new mantra is “under promise and over deliver”.
Once you stop saying yes to everything and trying to be in multiple places simultaneously, you can practice being 100% present in wherever you are and whatever you are doing. Become more in control of your choices, and then focus on and enjoy the choices you have made. If you choose to be working on a project, then that is what you are doing. If you’re reading your kids a bedtime story, you are not cooking dinner. And if you choose to be having a coffee with a friend, be just as 100% focussed on that task. If you’ve made the choice it is because it is important to you and should only be over-ridden by something that is even more important to you (and then only if it’s urgent).
We are aiming for quality here, not quantity. Many of you will be arguing that this way you will only be getting one task done rather than five. My point is that you will be getting one task completed well (and with no stress) as opposed to five tasks incomplete and not done well with potentially a huge headache and follow-on problems as well!
As you practice this technique, you will find that you actually get a lot more done and please a lot more people. Also, things that aren’t that important to you start to drop away, leaving even more precious time for the things that are. Eventually, it even becomes easier and easier to deliver even more than people expect of you, and this is done with a lot less effort because you are doing it because you want to and are able to, rather than because you are committed and pressured to.
By Jacqui Thomas
All rights reserved
