Here’s a few ideas to help you have more of it.

The first step is to get an accurate picture of your financial situation as it is now.  Know exactly what income you have, how much you spend and on what.  If you are like most people and have no idea where it all goes, keep a diary for at least a week, or ideally a month and keep track of what gets spent where.  You may be surprised! 

Now, obviously if you want more money you will need to either make more or spend less. Spending less may not sound like much fun but it’s all about your mindset.  If you think of it as changing your spending so you can have even more money, or spend it on things that you really want rather than things you don’t even notice, it has more appeal.

Look at your spending diary and see what things you could happily do without or cut down on.  How much are you spending on coffees, cigarettes, alcohol, car parking, bank fees, credit card interest?  Going without that second latte, saves you about $20 per week, giving up smoking could save you $70 per week, taking a bottle of wine around to a friends place instead of having drinks in town could save you $100!  The secret is to keep it fun.  You don’t want to become so frugal that you don’t have any enjoyment left, simply make good choices, and watch the extra dollars you save stack up.

Next, look at reducing your debt.  Credit cards, store cards and hire purchases, can seem like a wonderful idea at the time but if you can’t afford to pay them off, you spend huge amounts on fees and interest.  Get out your credit card statements and see how much you have been paying the bank for the privilege of using their money.  See how it all adds up.  Isn’t there something you would rather have used that money for?  Use the money you’re saving from cutting down on your spending to pay the debt off for once and for all and then get rid of your card or at least try and save it for emergencies. 

Also, shop around to make sure you’re getting the best deal on bank fees and charges.  Know what your fees entitle you too and what gets charged as an extra.  Make the effort to use ATM’s less if you get charged per transaction, and use your own bank’s ATM machine, rather than other banks.  The same goes for service charges such as phone, mobile and internet usage.

Some Ideas to Save Money and Still Have a Life:

• Take your lunch to work

• Stop or reduce the amount of coffee you buy

• Pay off your debts so you don’t pay interest

• Shop around for the best bank deal and reduce your bank charges

• Take public transport or walk instead of paying for petrol and car parking

• Have friends around for dinner, BBQ’s, DVD’s, instead of going out to restaurants, bars and movies

• Quit smoking

• Only buy as much fresh food as you know you will eat

• Start growing your own vegetables, and trade the extra supplies with friends

• Make sure you have the best mobile phone, internet and toll call plans for your usage.

• Cancel subscriptions for newspapers, magazines and Pay TV and make the most of free information

• Enjoy the outdoors for some free entertainment – go to the beach, go for a walk, go fishing, take a book to the park.

• Swap babysitting services with other parents.

• Join the local library

© Jacqui Thomas, 2010 All rights reserved

Feeling stuck, being stuck in a rut, groundhog day, going through the motions…. they’re all euphemisms for the same phenomena, and often stem from needing to do something different and making a change, but not doing it.  It could also be thought of as resisting the flow of life.

Change can be scary, even when we want to change, and/or know we need to change… even when we realise the benefits of change will leave us in a much better space.  Because of fear we try and prepare ourselves well in order to ensure the change is successful.  Such preparation is useful to a point, but it is easy to overdo it and end up stuck in the no-man’s land known as ‘paralysis by analysis’.   Spending too much time preparing for every possible outcome and trying to get all your ducks in a row, is actually a pointless exercise – the ducks always move. 

And so it is with life.  Everything is dynamic, constantly moving.  Like a game of chess, every move has the potential to completely change the game.  To plan all your moves at the beginning of the game would make it necessary to play entirely by yourself and control all the conditions.  Not only would this be boring and lonely, but you may miss out on better opportunities that are only made possible by another player’s moves.

So all you need to know is the first move.  Then you assess the best move to make next once it is your turn to move again.  The possible moves change all the time and can’t necessarily be planned in advance.  If you don’t know what the first move should be, or feel like you can’t make a good move, then just make any move.  This is kind of like a reshuffle.  Sometimes there are no great moves to be made, as in any game.  But by at least making a move, even if it is sideways, then you keep the game moving and change the dynamics which may open up a better move for the next turn.

So if you’re stuck, move!  Any move is better than staying stuck.  Take a leap of faith and do something.  Movement builds momentum.  The first step is often the hardest and requires the most energy.  Once you are moving it is easier to keep going.

© Jacqui Thomas 2010, All rights reserved.

But why do we put off doing the things that we DO want to do?

Generally, this type of procrastination is linked to our attachment to a desired outcome. The fear of getting something wrong, or not achieving our desired outcome, can stop us from taking any action at all. As long as we do nothing, our desired outcome is still a maybe, it’s possible. The fear of that ‘maybe’ becoming a ‘no’, prevents us from taking the action that could turn the ‘maybe’ into a ‘yes’.

We place too much value on how we think things need to pan out, in order to get ‘where’ we want to go, or ‘what’ we want. We micro manage our actions to the point where we stall, we get stuck, we’re too scared to move, in case we make a mistake.

The trick is to trust in the process. Trust that any action is a step in the right direction – even if it doesn’t seem so at the time. Trust that you are heading to your desired outcome, even if it seems like you’re given a U-turn, a detour, or even a dead end.

Getting somewhere requires movement. And each movement changes the state of play. You literally need to move one step at a time, and each step will be subject to factors and variables that you may be aware of, but that are outside your control. Pre-planning all the steps to your desired outcome is a waste of time and energy as the best steps may not even be apparent yet.

If you’re clear on your desired outcome / your end result, don’t put off taking a step towards it. Any movement is positive, even if it doesn’t seem so at the time – it may just be shaking things up to make the next step possible.

© Jacqui Thomas, 2010 All rights reserved.

This is the difference between feeling and thinking.  If you over think something, you can literally feel your brain whirring around in over drive.  Conversely, if you go with what you “feel” is right, decisions and a course of action come comparatively easily.  Put simply, brain power is limited, heart power is limitless.

Of course the head (mind and brain) has an important role to play.  It is useful for putting structures and plans in place to make things happen effectively.  The trick is to use it for its intended roles without letting it completely take over the show!

This is why you are much more likely to achieve goals you actually want to achieve, to be successful in a business you actually enjoy, to have a long lasting relationship with someone you really love.  This is why you hear stories of people beating incredible odds to achieve their dreams, of mothers lifting cars to save their children, people with no legs climbing Mt Everest.  The thing is you can pretty much have anything you really want.  Not because it just happens with the wave of a magic wand, but because if you really want it, your heart will unleash an amazing force of energy to help you do whatever needs to be done in order to make it happen.

So what you do really want for yourself?  What would you love to do this year?  Who would you love to be?  If you are truly honest with yourself and your heart is fully, 100% involved, then anything is possible.

© Jacqui Thomas, 2010.  All rights reserved

Here’s a strategy that I find very helpful for tough choices.  It’s a simple process involving four questions.  They are known as the Cartesian Questions and were developed by a famous metaphysician called Rene Descartes.  You’ll need some paper to keep track of your answers. 

The questions are:

*  What will happen if you do?

*  What will happen if you don’t?

*  What won’t happen if you do?

*  What won’t happen if you don’t?

If you like you can divide your piece of paper into 4 quadrants:

* WILL / DO

* WILL / DON’T

* WON’T / DO

* WON’T / DON’T

You’ll find this really gets you thinking about the pros and cons at a deeper level, helping you make the best decision for you.  When you see the answers you’ve jotted down for each question, the decision becomes very clear.

© Jacqui Thomas, 2010.  All rights reserved

Knowing what you want and where you are heading is half the battle won, but in order to actually get there, you have to take some action!  You must take the first step and get started, not only to move closer towards your goal, but also to really commit to your intentions and to let the world know that you are serious about this.  The first step can be the hardest but once you’ve done it, it’s easier to keep moving.

If you are having trouble taking the first step, ask yourself why?  Is the first step too daunting?  If so, break it down into smaller, more manageable steps.  Keep breaking it down until the first step is easily doable so you can get started and then build on the momentum you have created from there.

A common stumbling block is fear – fear of failure, fear of the unknown, even fear of success.  A certain amount of fear is perfectly normal – accept that this is a natural response and do it anyway.

Another obstacle can be that you don’t have all the steps worked out yet.  Ie, you don’t have all the “how” figured out.  You may not know how you are possibly going to achieve your outcome, or you may have most of it figured out with a few fuzzy areas that aren’t clear.  Don’t let this stop you!  As long as you know where you want to go (can see your intended outcome clearly) and can identify the first step required, then you have enough information to get started.  Trust that the next steps will become clear along the way.  Think of it as a journey- there will be signposts along the way and if you get stuck you can always stop and ask for directions!

 A great analogy of this is driving a car.  When we drive at night we can only see as far as our headlights shine, maybe 100 metres max.  We trust that by the time we have reached the end of that 100 metres, we will be able to see the following 100 metres, and so on.  If we need to drive from Auckland to Invercargill, we don’t need to know every single road, stop sign, intersection, along the way.  We know how to leave Auckland.  We know that we need to be on State Highway One and which direction we need to go.  We trust that there will be signposts along the way to help us get to our final destination.  We also have resources we can use for help such as maps, and we can ask other people for assistance if we get stuck.

If you are clear on “What” you are trying to achieve and “Why”, then the “How” will take care of itself.  You just have to make a start.

If you still haven’t moved, you need to ask yourself “is this something I really want for myself?”  If you can’t wholeheartedly say yes, then go back and choose something that is honest and real for you.

It’s not rocket science but as Albert Einstein once said, “Nothing happens until something moves.” 

Written by Jacqui Thomas

All rights reserved

© Jacqui Thomas, 2010

The event we were watching was the Final of the Women’s Moguls.  A tough event, but very cool to watch.  As we approach the final, the Canadian woman is assured of a medal as long as she doesn’t make any major mistakes.  Her home crowd roared their support and then, halfway through the course, the unthinkable happened, she lost control and took a major tumble!  Skis are flying off in all directions, she’s obviously in pain, plus she has the knowledge that all those years of hard work, and her hopes of a medal, have now come crashing down.  The medal was so close, and now she is out of contention.

But, to her credit, she picks herself up and finds her skis.  She takes a moment, and focuses on the finish line.  She takes a deep breath and she carries on, completing the jumps and the rest of the gruelling course.  There were more tears and a standing ovation in our house!  What a fantastic illustration of courage, guts, focus, determination and tenacity.

We may not be Olympic skiers but we can all learn from this.  How often do we stop at the first obstacle?  How often do we quit before we reach the finish line?  They say that if you shoot for the moon, even if you fail you may still land on a star.  She didn’t get the medal, but she is still a star in my book!

Written by Jacqui Thomas

All rights reserved

Here’s 5 Steps to Getting More Love in Your Life:

 1.  Firstly, do you actually want a relationship?  Be honest here.  And, if so have you made some room for it.  Many single women are so extremely busy and stressed out that they simply don’t have the space, time or energy in their lives to meet anyone, let alone start a relationship.  If you really want it, you need to factor it into your plan and create some time and space for love.

 2.  Secondly, know what you’re looking for, both in a partner, and in a relationship.  Write yourself a list of all the attributes that are important to you.  I’m not talking about surface things like eye colour, I mean personal qualities and interests that will be important for your compatibility.  These could be things like political or religious beliefs, personality traits, values, goals in life, and could include things like drinking and smoking, whether they want or already have children, etc.  Then go through the list again and highlight the “not-negotiables”.  You will end up with a list of “not-negotiables”, plus a secondary list of” nice to haves” but that aren’t deal-breakers.  Now you have a checklist and can avoid wasting lots of time and energy on people that are obviously wrong for you.

 3.  Get to know yourself.  What are your strengths and attributes?  Are you a good match for your ideal partner?  Are there things about yourself that need some work?  Have you dealt with any baggage from past relationships?  To have a great relationship you need to be complete within yourself.  You are looking for someone to share yourself with, not someone who can compensate for your gaps.

 4.  Next, are you getting out there and meeting people?  It is a fact that gorgeous potential partners do NOT go randomly knocking on doors looking for lonely women sitting at home watching TV.  You have to get involved, be social, get out there and have some fun.  Let trusted friends and colleagues know that you’d like to meet some people and tell them what you’re looking for.  Get active and do the things you love to do – it could be that your ideal match loves doing that too.  These days there are also many professional agencies set up to introduce single people.  Reputable internet sites provide a safe forum for people to meet, or try speed dating or singles dinner parties. 

 5.  Lastly, don’t try too hard.  You never know when you’re going to meet that wonderful person that absolutely rocks your world, – it’s likely to happen when you least expect it, so relax and enjoy yourself!

Written by Jacqui Thomas

All rights reserved

Most of us are fully aware of our head when it comes to making decisions, this is our brain rationally weighing up the pros and cons.  Some of us even listen to our hearts, this is what we feel is the best decision, or the decision that we want for ourselves.  But how many of us use our gut to make decisions?  This is our intuition, that sense of “knowing” what is right or best.

Using all three, guarantees us the best decisions.  Ideally, all three will point to the same answer.  If not, pay careful attention to your gut – usually this is the one that gets it right!  If this seems a bit “out there” for you, see the quote below from famous scientist, Albert Einstein.

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful
servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has
forgotten the gift.”  Albert Einstein

Article by Jacqui Thomas

All rights reserved

The quick facts: 
*  The motivation to avoid pain is usually stronger than the motivation to gain pleasure. 
*  Most people focus on avoiding pain and gaining pleasure in the short term, but to be successful you need to focus on avoiding pain and gaining pleasure long term.
*  Everybody’s perception of what causes pain and pleasure is different and linked to their own experiences.

To make changes in our lives we need to change how we think and how we act.  One simple way to do this is to change what you link your pain and pleasure to.  For greater success you also need to shift your focus from short term pain and pleasure, to long term pain and pleasure.

Here’s an example:

If you’re overweight you may be focussing on the short term pleasure that you link to eating too much, or eating unhealthy foods.  Or, you might be avoiding pain that you link with exercising.  Or, maybe you’re avoiding the pain of dealing with a problem and instead seeking pleasure and comfort from food.  

*  You can motivate yourself to make the changes you need to by creating new long term links to pain and pleasure for yourself. 
*  You might choose to avoid the pain associated with long term health problems, or of looking fat and not being able to wear nice clothes. 
*  Also add in some long term pleasure associations, such as looking and feeling fantastic, and being able to play with your children. 
*  The key thing to remember is that the new links and associations must be personal and real for you. 
*  And, they need to be strong enough to over-ride your existing pleasure and pain associations of eating the cake and avoiding the gym!

Another common example is staying in a relationship that is no longer positive or satisfying.  In the short term, you may gain pleasure from having a date to go out with and avoid the pain of being lonely.  But is it costing you the long term pleasure of having a fulfilling relationship, and the long term pain of realising you’ve wasted many years staying in an empty relationship?

By Jacqui Thomas

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